Chad Essential #5 Axe Bodyspray. Well done Axe, well done. Somehow, you have manage to mix Pine-Sol with gooch sweat to create the national scent for Chads everywhere. No need for debroderant anymore guys, this little spray can of douche musk does it all.
-M
Celebrity Chad #6, Mike Sorrentino, more commonly known as “The Situation”. One of the overly tan, obnoxious suck sacks, from the MTV reality show Jersey Shore. He named himself after his abdominal definition.
I’m pretty sure most girls he screws get as much of an ab workout as he does, from throwing up all the roofies he slips them. Enough said.
”It’s like the Navy Seals. I get sent out first, do a little reconnaissance, bring girls back.” - The Situation
-M
Often referred as “two in the pink, one in the stink,” the Shocker is a very popular Chadtastic hand gesture. Although many a lady has probably enjoyed the presence of this shocking hand stimulation, when it is flashed outside the realm of the love making, the Shocker is the perfect way to say, “Yo ladies! My name is Brora the Sexplorer& I’m just douchey enough to show everyone that I’m a jerkass.”
-M
Greetings fellow Chads and / or Chad haters of the internets. Allow me to properly introduce myself to all of you. My name is Matty & I hate Chad. For some reason or other society has allowed this lifestyle that is Chad to spread & flourish. Chad & their fellow Brobey Maguires are riding there race horses of douchebaggery across the finish line & everyone seems to be okay with it. Well my bro-writer, Byron & myself are here to open your eyes, & put an end to this. Or at the least entertain while trying.
Who’s your favorite (least favorite) celebrity Chad/bro?
Slam ‘em down, & stack ‘em up!
Celebrity Chad #6, Mark Sinclair Vincent, more commonally known as Vin Diesel. On every Chad’s Facebook page, you’ll find they’re fans of at a least one thing this bromerican born film star has done, & rightfully so. He has such a broad acting skill set. Roles ranging from an “actions speak louder than words”, “shoot first, ask questions later”, “badass” in the movie xXx, to a “shoot before you ask questions”, “speaking louder with your actions, instead of with your words”, “Tough-guy” in the Fast and the Furious franchise…
Celebrity Chad #5, Asher Paul Roth. Known to the world only for his jock jam, frat house anthem, “I Love College”.
“I wanna go to college for the rest of my life. Sip Banker’s Club and drink Miller Lite. On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice. And I can get pizza a dollar a slice. So fill up my cup, let’s get fucked up. I’m next on the table, who want what? I am champion at beer pong. Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon.”
Bro my god…he pretty much dug his own grave,
and i’d be honored, to bury him in empty Pabst cans, red plastic cups & pizza cuts.
#4. “No pain, no gain!”.
Celebrity Chad #4, Jon Keith Gosselin. Once only known to most bros mothers, this (ex) TLC star is now leaving his sextuplets & twins in the dust of an American Chopper motorcycle.
#3. “Bros before hoes”.
#2. ”Always keep your collar starched, and popped.”
Celebrity Chad(s) #3, The entire cast of HBO’s “Entourage”. This American dramedy chronicles the rise of Vincent Chase, a young A-list movie star, and his childhood friends from Queens, NY, as they journey the unfamiliar terrain of Hollywood, California. Loosely based on the life of chadecutive producer, Mark Wahlburg, one can easily see why bromosexuals flock to the nearest frat house with cable, every sunday night, like freshman to a keg.
Dirty Thirty-a case of thirty 12oz cans of cheap beer (usually Keystone or Natural Light), primarily used for drinking games such as Beer Pong, Case Races, Beer Bonging, Shotgunning, and Flip Cup.
See also: Cube of Ice Cold Cruisers
Celebrity Chad #2, William Frederick “Fred” Durst. An American musician, director and actor, known primarily as the front man of the nu metal band Limp Bizkit. Made “Chad Famous” in 1999 after TRL introduced millions of teenagers to the backwards red hat, wife beater tank top look.
